The Family They Weren't Ready For
by Dlbn
Summary: Being a father was already the last thing on their minds. *Two-part dedication fic to my friend's twin boys John and Owen, born today*
1. Aoyagi Aidien

Disclaimer: I only own Taro, the unnamed woman (Amia), Iyani, Aidien Aoyagi, and the dream woman. Ritsuka, Soubi, Seimei, Misaki, and anyone/anything else canon to Loveless belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off writing in this category.

Dedication: After trying so long, my best friend Kristen and her fiancé John welcomed two little healthy baby boys, John and Owen, into the world today, August 5, 2017. I don't know what time because she had a c-section and is only able to communicate in short bursts and didn't mention it. But they're finally here. I can't wait to meet my little nephews. (Not going to bug her in the hospital since SO many people are going to do that already). Congrats, girl. You're going to be a great mommy!

000

He didn't want children. That is what Aoyagi Aidien convinced himself at age sixteen, when his Fighter died and left him alone. He couldn't bring children into this world, knowing they might end up Sacrifices like him or Fighters like her maybe a mix of the two statuses. He couldn't bring children into this world, knowing what a harsh, unforgiving place it really was. After the incident became too much to bare, the pain became too _real_ , and Iyani showed him mercy with her memory erasing spell, he forgot why he made that oh so important vow in the first place.

He was just a kid when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant; that's what he convinced himself. He was only nineteen. He wasn't old enough, wasn't able or willing enough, to raise a child. Neither was she. He knew, he could tell. But when he finally came to accept that his offspring was growing deep within her womb, he figured that maybe having a child wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps he could try his hand at being a father, more of a father than his own old man. He couldn't imagine the heartbreak he would feel only weeks later when they received the news that the baby he'd come to accept as coming into this world was no longer going to do so.

He didn't want kids anymore, he decided. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth preparing, both mentally and physically, and all the waiting just for it to go up in smoke, so to speak. He tried to be furious the second time she was pregnant, he really did. He proposed, he knew he had to. Whether or not the baby survived, he had to do what was right and what would keep his family off his back. Despite the attempts from both sides of the family to dissuade the couple on their marriage, they ignore it, and marry a few months before the baby comes.

A beautiful, happy, wonderful baby boy. Seimei, she names him Seimei. He doesn't know why. She claims to love the solstices, and thus its only appropriate for her to name her child after one of them. He doesn't argue. Seimei just somehow _fits_ the little bundle of job in his arms. He's happy, for once in his life, he's genuinely frigging _happy_. He can no longer remember the anguish at losing his Fighter, he can no longer remember the pain at losing his first possible child. A sacrifice he didn't want to make, though not having a child so young was probably better for the down on their luck couple.

He doesn't mind having a child, he realizes when Seimei is about a year old. He can't remember the vow he made as a teenager, and if he could remember, he'd probably wish that he didn't. here was still loss, there was still mourning. Misaki still cried over their unborn, their departed child every year on the anniversary, every year at the grave. They didn't know the gender. The grave marked " _Unknown_ " feels like it weighs heavily on his heart. And he can't help but feel that fragile heart break under the pressure when Seimei asks questions as he grows up. Why is momma weeping? What's wrong? Who are we visiting every year? When he is four, they stop coming. It's too much pain, too many questions.

He doesn't mind having a child, but how can they afford two living on their measly budget? A good lawyer he was, a good provider for the family he was. But there were still old hospital bills from the unborn, let alone from Seimei's birth. There are still mortgage payments and electric bills, cable bills and food receipts. There was still so much to pay for, for three hungry mouths, three hungry lives. But he can't stop it when she becomes pregnant once again. He hopes, he practically _prays_ for the child to pass, to suffer the fate of their eldest. And he hates himself for it. He hates her for stopping birth control without telling her. He hates Seimei for being so damn _excited_ when Misaki opens her damn mouth. He hates everything about it. He tries to convince her to get rid of it one way or another. He tries to convince her they can't do it. She threatens to leave if he doesn't stop, threatens him with child support and court orders. When he first hears the heartbeat of his second child, he knows in his heart that he almost forced his wife to make a grave mistake.

His name is Ritsuka, named after another solstice. The doctors love him, the in laws love him, his brother loves him, his wife loves him, his son loves him, hell, _he_ loves him. The little bundle he feared, he resented, is now a little bundle he loves, he admires. He wants nothing more in the moment Ritsuka first cried than to protect and provide for his growing family. Misaki agrees to tie her tubes, the chances of them having another unprepared, unplanned child shot down. They are a family of four, and they're going to stay that way. When he was a teenager, he never could have comprehended that the thing he feared the most would be the thing his life depended on, his reason for living.

It's not the children's fault his wife is slipping in her sanity, he knows this. It's not Ritsuka's fault there's been an accident and now his memory is missing. It's not Seimei's fault he's not there twenty-four seven to defend Ritsuka. It's not their fault, he knows. But Seimei can blame him. They can fight and shout and scream and punch, but in the end, it solves nothing. It's just more pain and aggravation. The sons he loved with all his heart, the sons he gave up his very _no children_ philosophy and policy for have now become the things he hates the most.

As all tragedy seems to do, it comes in waves. One upon the other, crashing and roaring like the waves in the ocean, leaving nothing but broken shells and devastation in their path. Seimei is gone. They had one child. Then they were gone. Then they had another, and then two, and now there's only one. He can't survive in this house, he knows, not for long with Misaki and her rage and insanity. He can't take it. And for many reasons, he runs. He doesn't look back. His second son, his only surviving _child_ is now left with that monster that he created. His perfect family is nothing more than shambles now. It's nothing. Just like his bond with her is now nothing. Her. Who is her? Who is this woman that plagues his dreams and curses his existence? Who is this woman he knows, but doesn't know, but sees so often that she _can't_ be just a figment of his imagination. She had to have been real. She had to exist in his life at some point, but now she's just gone. How does she have such an effect on him? how does her scolding him for being a coward, from running away, make him groan and shout himself awake in shame? There are many women in his time, many relationships. But none of them mean anything, none of them have such an effect. Who is she?

He'd never fall in love again, that's what he claimed. He'd date casually, find some quick, easy lays when he's not working and being blackmailed by clients he's shagged when he's gotten too drunk to care about the boundaries between client and lawyer. That was alright with him. But there was just something about that mousy little coffee shop woman that caught his eye, that resonated with him. he couldn't look away. A little light flirting and some touching of the hands melts away and is replaced with fun dates, passionate stares, hungry kisses. But there is one thing he does not count for, one thing he no longer wants in his life. She has a child.

He can't be a father to a kid that's not even his; the idea is absurd. That is what he tells himself until he finally meets the baby boy with so much love and fear in his eyes that its frightening. He's too young to know the harshness of the world, of the man in front of him that his mother is introducing for the first time. He can't let this little one grow to suffer like his own children had, he can't. There's a connection, a love, he knows it. He can feel it, the child can feel it, _she_ can feel it. he must protect this child from all the evils of the world. He is happy to be a father again, to a little boy that's not even his.

His son won't even look him in the eye when they cross paths. The now sixteen-year-old is not in the mood for his father's lies, nor his excuses. He's not in the mood to meet the woman and child he decided were worth more than his own wife and blood son. But he'll play nice for her, for the child. He won't show them the hurt and anger and hatred he's nearly succumbed to all his life. He'll just make an excuse, take the hand of that tall, somehow familiar, blonde with him, and disappear like smoke on the water. That man. He's so familiar, and yet, his mind cannot place where he knows him from. And then they are gone.

Their engagement and consequent marriage was quick, the divorce was quicker. With his ex-wife and their son out of the picture, he feels free to begin his new life. He adopts the child, he marries the mother; he does everything you are supposed to do when you are in love, everything he should have done with Misaki the first time around. No mistakes this time. Then why, oh why, was that dream woman still there, shunning him, scolding him? Why didn't she just _leave_?

They haven't been married long when she discovers the meaning behind her sickness, her illness and lethargy. It can't be happening again, and yet it is. He got a second chance with Seimei, a third with Ritsuka, a fourth with Taro, and now a fifth. He's getting the chance to be a father again, to raise someone of his own flesh and blood into an _adult_. He's not ready. He contemplates running away. But the dream woman scolds him, his wife convinces him that things are going to be okay. And although he knows they aren't, he can't help the tiny nagging feeling in the back of his mind that told him he's been running from being a father for so long that he needs to just sit down, shut up, and man up.

The moment he first holds his daughter, his only daughter, he finds himself full of a love he hadn't felt in a long time. She is his pride and joy, his third chance at being a biological father, his fifth chance at being a father. She won't grow up to find a man like him, to become a woman like him. She will grow up to be a fine young lady, with a life and a career and a _passion_ unlike any he'd ever felt. This time, he can't run, he won't run. This time, he'll get things right. This time. This time.

She practically begs him to bring his son home, to bring him back into their lives. He refuses. The dream woman scolds him, denies him, shuns him. She won't answer his questions, only cause him more and more guilt, more _pain_ than anything else had before. He caves. He calls. He comes _home_. He's not greeted warmly. His ex-wife wants him gone, his son doesn't particularly care to talk to him but does so anyway. They hear one another out, listen to their reasons and their excuses and explanations. It's the first time he feels like he's connected with the memoryless child since the first day he came into this world. The blonde his boyfriend, one he intends to marry when the time is right and he is of age. He can't say that he understands his son in that moment, to know who he wants to spend the rest of his life with at such a young age. He's seventeen, barely an adult yet, still retaining his ears-thank God. How can he be so sure of himself when his own father still doesn't know? How?

He can feel the walls of his memory, of insanity cracking and crumbling to pieces around him. He doesn't like it, he hates it. He blames the dream woman, who only shakes her head in disgust and calls him a coward, faulting him for forgetting who she was, who she is and what she means. He still doesn't know. There's a face, a name. There's something. He just needs to remember. Kofai. The word dances across his dream mind. His partner in crime, his partner in life; the first woman he ever really _connected_ with. He knows who she is, what she is. His son, he realizes what he is. A Sacrifice. What he feared, dragging more children into his secret world of spells and pure _hell_ , has come true. Ritsuka is only mildly shocked when his father asks his status, and his father is only mildly surprised when he admits that his fighter is the blonde he's promised himself to.

His life is slowly but surely coming together. His daughter will be graduating high school next year. His only living son has made a living as an artist with his boyfriend and their friends. Their wedding was short, but formal. Brief, but overwhelming. He walked his son down the aisle while his daughter glowered and pouted about not being the first to be walked by their father. Taro is starting to date. He brings home a few trashy girls, but finally settles on a good one, an honest one. Their engagement is surprising, and came quickly, but they are happy; happier than he ever could have been the first time he said _I do_. Ritsuka and his blonde, Soubi, come over for dinner with the family once a week. Taro and his fiancé join them. Kofai is still there in his dreams, still scolding him, still smiling with him. But it's a teasing scold. And suddenly they're teenagers again, vowing to take down the organization that oppressed them and their friends, vowing to never have kids to save any possible offspring the hell they were forced to endure growing up. It's nice, it's quiet, it's comforting.

He is only mildly interested when his mother complains about him letting his son marry another man.

She couldn't possibly understand the bond he shared with his son as a father who his son gave a second chance. She couldn't possibly understand when he was just a brat she threw out into the cold on his eighteenth birthday and regretted having. She couldn't parent. He learned how to parent watching her, watching his departed father. He relearned how to parent by watching his children, all four of them. And somewhere up above, the unborn looked down with pride, lovingly watching over the family they were not yet ready for.


	2. Aoyagi Seimei

Dlbn: Welcome to part two everyone!

Nbld: We debated making this a three-part series, but since my internet was shut off and I won't be able to post again until next Saturday (it's Sunday for me) I figure there's no point. So let's go to the Review Corner! Thank you to Promocat and Halbarath for reviewing! Baby shaped cakes for you both!

Promocat: Thank you! I feel that since he doesn't show up much in the series, most people don't feel like exploring him. I think he's probably got an interesting story to tell, we just haven't seen it yet.

Halbarath: Heyya! Nice to see you back on FF. Thank you very much! Honestly, I feel like you're right haha I got that feel when reading the manga, as well. Unfortunately, that chapter came out after I'd already started with _Careless_ , so I'd have to rewrite most of it to fit Misaki instead of Aidien, so I just keep the head canon I've made. I'm going to eventually write a story using mana-verse canon with Misaki being a part of things and Aidien being oblivious. I want to explore Miskai's relationship with manga SPOILER ALERT _Seimei_ END SPOILER ALERT more.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the non-canon characters. Seimei, Ritsuka, and Chouma all belong to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off writing in this category.

Dedication: Once again, this is dedicated to twins John and Owen, my best friend's twin boys born yesterday. They are doing great and mom is in a lot of pain but she is recovering and made a walk down to see them in NICU today, so things are looking up!

Dlbn: It is worth mentioning that this part reflects nothing about the relationship of the parents of the babies this is dedicated to. It's just my series' head canon that goes with the whole new baby theme of this fic. Thanks!

000

Children were icky. That's the one thing he knew about them. They whined and fussed and made a mess everywhere. They shrieked, they stunk up the room, they grabbed all the attention of every adult in the room. Seimei didn't like kids. He never had, never would. At least, until his mother informed him that he was going to have a baby sibling. Great. A shrieking, attention-stealing whining sibling. He hated the baby long before his mother knew the gender or thought of a name he would come to love so much. He detested the idea of visiting her in the hospital after the baby was born, but father made him go because he couldn't. He wasn't sure who he hated more; the newly born _brat_ or the absent, spineless father.

But all that changed when a tiny face poked out of tiny blankets and eyes that matched his own stared up at him. In that instant, everything he thought about babies changed. This child, his brother, was the most precious thing in the world. He'd gladly share his parents' attention, his toys, his clothes, his _everything_ with the tiny body wrapped in blue. Though his mother appeared exhausted, he could care less about what she had gone through to bring that perfect little thing to him. She was no better than his father. The only difference was that she was _there_ while he was _not_. Babies were icky and gross, but his brother, his _Ritsuka_ was a different story.

No father in the home was fine with him. He'd just play daddy to Ritsuka and form a bond with him that their father couldn't even _hope_ to touch with anyone, let alone his children. That was fine with him. He could be a father and a big brother. He could wear both hats, so to speak, if that was what it took. He would do anything it took to make the world for Ritsuka a better, more bearable place than the one he had grown up with. His brother wouldn't know of pain, of his world of Fighters and Sacrifices. Ritsuka wouldn't know battles and spells and damage. He was too precious to his elder brother to expose to that nonsense. He never imagined that an unknowing, half-witted classmate of his brother's would introduce him to that world by accident.

He didn't mean for it to happen, he really didn't, he swore! His parents didn't know any better, only assumed their younger son was asleep. He'd never forgive himself if Ritsuka didn't wake up, he'd never forgive Akame if he didn't. The fool should have known better than to use a spell too powerful for his abilities. And now, because of that, there was no waking up his beloved brother, the one he'd changed his entire outlook on children for. The one he'd created so many carefully laid out plans and killed so many not-so-innocent members of their world to protect, to shield from Septimal Moon and its treachery. But now, he was reduced to nothing more than tubes and beeping monitors and machines. When he woke up, he would be a confused ball of emotions, struggling to understand the world around him, and the people in it, that he once knew so well.

Their mother would never accept her son's memory loss, nor his new quiet, reserved nature. It was disturbing in a way, how his brother could go from happy go lucky, running around with his friends on the playground, to moping alone in his room, reading books he'd read a thousand times before as if they were new to him; and they were. Seimei would never accept how his mother hurt _his_ little brother, _his_ Ritsuka, _his world_. He promised he'd take her from their father. But he'd take Ritsuka out from underneath both of them before either could notice his absence.

His faked death took him so far form the one he loved the most, but he entrusted him to his most worthy servant; worthy being a _very_ loose term. More like the one he didn't need, the spare he could do without, the plaything he was fine with loaning out to his little brother, if only for a moment, a few months. When he finally graced his brother's life once more a few years later, he was shocked that his brother could be _mad_ at him. At him, one who sacrificed so much-no pun intended-for him, the one who did everything for _him_ and no one else. Not for himself not for his plans, not for his Fighters or his ego. For _Ritsuka_. Everything was for _Ritsuka_. And yet, he was angry with him, he was upset with him. He promised that he still loved him. if Seimei had his way, Ritsuka would have bound his life to him, willingly given a part of himself away to his-no pun intended-beloved elder brother, but that blank, that useless toy, _Agatsuma_ just had to step in the way. He had to break the hold Seimei had had on his brother. In anger, Seimei cursed his existence and forced his hand to help him flee. But the truth was, in that moment, he was never so afraid of the bond between a Sacrifice and a Fighter in his life.

When Ritsuka shunned him, took the blank Fighter, took their _father_ and his _new family_ in place of him, he was angered. All that was for nothing! Everything he did, every fight he started and ended, every _everything_ was all for nothing! All those years of hard work and calculating and planning and building up the perfect team around him was all for _nothing_. He had nothing without his Ritsuka. He wanted nothing more than to bind his brother to his side, to rule the world with his brother as a willing accomplice in his battle against Septimal Moon. But now, all he was left with was the broken shell of the great man he once was, a mentally unstable Fighter he knew could snap his neck in two at any point he wanted to with _zero remorse_ , and a team of rather useless followers obeying his every whim. He had nothing of importance. Every other person, every other creature in his life was expendable, was a pawn. Except _her_ …

She tried to console him by telling him to get his head out of his ass. She tried to smack him upside the head and scream in his face about how he was pathetic and selfish. She tried to make him see the error of his ways, sway his moping and curb his attitude. She did everything he could to _snap him out of it_. To make him go get Akame back from the blonde Sacrifice he was so infatuated with. To make him get back to his scheming, his planning, his fighter. To make him do something _other_ than sit around and mope, because _Aoyagi Seimei_ would never reduce himself to being someone so _lazy_ that all he did was mope around his big, empty apartment while the people that _should_ have been at his side were off frolicking and doing god knows what with god knows who. Of course, she was right. Would he ever admit that to her? No. He was too prideful to admit that someone, anyone, could know him better than him.

It started innocently enough. Perverted jokes and twirling his hair between her fingers. Batting her hand away and being called an asshole. Then it was easing tension by spending _time_ together, going places together and _doing_ things together. Then came the sex. She teased him for not knowing what to do, for still having his ears. He chastised her for losing hers and forgetting his name, his face. She clawed his back, he bit her neck. She screamed his name, he just grunted. They were no longer just Seimei and Chouma. They were no longer him and her. They were _them_ , they were _us_. They were a _thing_ when neither of them wanted to be. Akame teased him, Bloodless rolled their eyes and went on their merry way. Ritsuka shrugged Agatsuma snickered. So, he'd fallen to basic human needs. So, sue him. Try as he might to be a God, he was still a human in the end. A measly human with measly little plans and a measly little relationship with one of the most twisted beings to ever come out of Seven Voices Academy, let alone Septimal Moon itself. They were on the same level of insanity, shared the same delusions of grandeur, the same delusions _about_ their delusions. And they were perfectly fine in their own world of insanity. A Harley and Joker to rival the franchise.

Children were icky. He knew that when he was a kid, he forgot that when Ritsuka was born, he remembered when Ritsuka left him and his father knocked up his step mother that he didn't even know with another little useless, unwanted, all around _fucked up_ addition to the joke that was the Aoyagi Family Circus. When Chouma started covering up and wearing clothes bigger than normal, started throwing up and cursing his existence to hell and back, he remembered why children were so disgusting in the first place. And now, his carelessness had reduced him to being nothing more than a _parent_. A real biological parent with real biological children. Not a pseudo parent to a biological brother who turned traitor on him in the end. They were going to have a child and this time, he wasn't going to make the same mistakes as he did with Ritsuka. this was his legacy to leave on the world, and he'd be _damned_ if they turned out like his ungrateful brat of a brother.

A child was disgusting and annoying on its own. But two together? There was _no way_ his mind was prepared to handle _that_ nonsense. And yet, here he was, listening to two separate heartbeats, staring at two separate balls of cells on the screen of a black and white computer monitor. It just _had_ to be twins, right? Just his luck.

A boy and a girl. One of each gender, each unique in their ability to disgust him, to infuriate him, to infatuate him. His perfect future, his perfect legacy, his perfect future _soldiers_. She dared him to turn them into a destructive force that Septimal Moon had only _dreamed_ about in their most horrid of nightmares. She dared him to use their children in his sic, twisted games. She _dared_ him to make them replace his brother. And, of course, that was just what he intended on doing.

They were born in secret, alone with only their parents and Faceless making a rare appearance to assume the role of doctors. He was dead, on paper she didn't exist; they couldn't go to a hospital. Akame didn't care to show, and Chouma threatened to slice his throat with a scalpel if he tried to. Bloodless didn't care that Seimei was having any hell spawn, let alone care to come see them come into the world a screaming, bloody mess. That was the way things would end, how his kids would leave Septimal Moon. A screaming. Bloody. Mess.

They excelled. Of course, they excelled. They were _his_ children, his offspring, his _blood_. He didn't expect them to be anything less than perfect. She hated him for it. She hated that he trained them to be ruthless killing machines right under her nose. She hated that he made her children into clones of _them_ , made them into everything people feared about the two of them. And that he was _okay_ with it. How could he be _okay_ with creating this? How could he be _okay_ with the cycle repeating, never ending? How could he be _okay_?! She hated him, she wanted to get away. But the look in her children's eyes when they looked at their father convinced her to stay.

There was no love between them anymore, if there ever was. Their conversations were short, hushed and rushed. They tried to save face with the children, tried their hardest to make them think that everything was okay and that the family they made, the family they never wanted, wasn't crumbling apart at the seams. But try as they might, they couldn't convince them of a damn thing. Not with the sound of his Fighter shouting his name into the night shattering their perfect illusion to pieces.


End file.
